Am I?... nah...

I never felt alone, didn't I?

I'm proud to be single and not caring about someone at all... since I don't know what to do if I had a someone...

I have crushes here and there... but suddenly they became my ideal big brother type...

Through endless seminars and other social studies I have gone through I know what kind of love that is...

but I never felt it. None. Nada. Cinch.

I'm not a prune. I'm not bitter from some past relationship that didn't work out, even though I have one.

I just don't think I fell or grew in love with someone.

Maybe its because of my defense mechanism, I never let everyone in, never trusted someone fully, since I expect everyone to disappoint me sooner or later.

I am still pessimistic, one of my best qualities, including paranoia.

So here I am always the friend, never the girlfriend. ^-^

I don't think I'm gonna fall in love that easily.... someone has to pull me down first.

"But its time to face the truth, I will never be with you.."

Yes the James Blunt song of your Beautiful...

But he the same person I always meet...
YES IM CRUSHIN~~~
or maybe loving I don't really know...

I said I was crushin because crushes are meant to be those people that you adore but has a rare chance of being with you... as that...
and I think it isn't love if you let that person be and just support him in his affairs...

^-^U wow I always feared of this... that is why I always let go anything before it gets worse...
Maybe for now... it will just remain here... as something I will never understand...
So here I am cheering you on... I'll always be your dark angel... sorry if sometimes I'll be distant though... I think I don't want myself to fall without ever letting my wings break the impact...

-_-U Its a mess... really... no I AM NOT LOVESICK~!!!

ミサの歌 (Misa no Uta / Song of Misa)

ミサの歌 (Misa no Uta / Song of Misa)

歌手：平野綾 Original:

きをつけて かみさまはみてる くらいよみちはてをつないでくださいひとりでとおくにいてもいつもみつけだしてくれるしってることはぜんぶおしえてくれる わたしがおぼえてなくてもなんどでもおしえてくれるでもぜんぶわかってしまったらどうすればいいの?

Romanization:
ki wo tsukete kamisama wa miterukurai yomichi wa te wo tsunaide kudasaihitori de tooku ni itemoitsumo mitsukedashite kurerushitteru koto wazenbu oshiete kureruwatashi ga oboete naku temonando demo oshiete kurerudemo zenbu wakatte shimattaradou sureba ii no?

Heartfelt? almost... wait.. I'm pitying it... but no it wasn't

"Must be the bitterness..."

No maybe its not that... I've decided didn't I?

I can and will let go...

Too many second chances given...

Too many times I've tried to cope with it and concealed it...

Did my so-called patience finally reached its peak?

Insensitive... yes.

Time to find a place of my own...

Selfish... yes.

Time to find another thing...

but the closure...

I have never reached or even think about the closure yet...

And I still made up my mind... and I tend to pursue it... It was my conclusion... even if it was emotional.. subjective...

I'm still trying to rationalize it... to be objective about the option that I chose.

Sorry...

But I guess Its over... I'm over... If you can't forget about me... sorry... it is a miserable outcome...

I understand it. I know. Believe me, even if the biterness is still here.

I can see your side of the story. Ad Ignorantium. A regretful fallacy.

Once I made a decision I see through it that it is done.

Just like my decision when Xy died...

You didn't know... Someone had to be my punching bag instead of our circle... Someone had to see me cry my heart out... I trusted him everything...

Well you were crying for everything that was lost... I was crying at everything that was never spoken and always thrown as cryptic hint...

One of my regrets were I wore tainted glasses and waited for something that was never there...

Like my dark angel... It is a hopeless dream... never to be fulfilled but I still hung into it as it were to come true...

You may never get it. No one will... and maybe I wont allow anyone to ever get it until I finally broken down in misery...

Never... ever again...

forgiven?

I dunno...

should I...

can I...

park it somewhere... my mom told me...

but I still...

I dunno what to do...

나는 비통하다. 그러나 나는 당신에게 더 이상 바운스되지 않는다

Heartbroken but I am not bound to you anymore

I hate myself... for staying with you for so long...
It obvious that you're using me...
Maybe once there was a spark of a good relationship there...
But as I always say nothing ever lasts...
Fortunately or Unfortunately that includes what we had...
I guess all those promises became empty when you pushed me away...
However I didn't let it go that easily... I tried to hold on to anything that we had left...
Too bad there wasn't anything tangible anymore...